misc - microphone


So I guess I'm officially a Tumblr user with a LiveJournal, rather than a LiveJournal user with a Tumblr. I feel a bit bad about neglecting LJ and by extension my LJ friends. LiveJournal just started to feel like so much work for some reason. This I think is partly because of Tumblr's slightly controlled stream-of-conciousness feel, whereas LJ tends to be more personal and/or topical. Not that tumblrs can't be personal and/or topical, but. That's the feeling I get.

I imagine I'll still pop in here every once in a while to see how things are going, and there's likely to be BIG THINGS I'll feel like getting off my chest in a more private way (there's one post I've been sort of forming in my head for a while). I might start cross-posting from my Tumblr to here, too.

If you want to keep up with me, here are my Twitter and my Tumblr:

I'll never get rid of this journal, though. It and LiveJournal in general and various of the LJ friends I've made over the years have had too much of an impact on me.

See you around.

Peace and love,
misc - microphone

imperfect attendance

So I was lying in bed, trying to convince myself to get up and go to class, even if I got there late. One of the things I tiredly said to myself was "You're paying for this."

But you know what? While I might be paying for this, this is not what I paid for - to sit in a classroom twice a week and try to think up something to add to a stilted, awkward discussion wherein most of my classmates don't speak or only speak up once for the entire 1.25 hours we're there, and we never seem to get anywhere, and rarely do we have actual debate, and our professor doesn't give us any guidance and rarely gives us any historical or cultural context for what we read and "discuss."

Look, I really am one of those people who enjoys lively debate and discussion. I want people to pull quotes from the text and make controversial remarks and disagree with people unexpectedly. I want to go to a class where everyone wants to talk and everyone wants to hear what others have to say, where the professor guides the discussion or supports that day's discussion leader, adding in tidbits of information or helping steer us toward a deeper understand of the readings. Yes, this class is easy, but that's because there isn't much expected of us, and everyone feels they can just sit back and let a few people do all the talking.

How many of my classmates go to class every day and speak up only once every class or two knowing that they're getting some sort of attendance/participation credit? That's bullshit. Why should I haul my ass out of bed to go attend a class just for a grade? That is not what I paid for! I am a senior at UW-Madison for God's sake! I do not pay your salary, Ms., so that you can just sit there and try to placate some people and tell us "good discussion" every day even when we know damn well it wasn't one.

This is how people get disillusioned with formal education. Thousands of dollars of debt for... a piece of paper with some fancy writing? An academic record?

What does that record tell you about me?

It doesn't tell you about all the times I stayed up 'til 4 in the morning talking with a resident who was questioning his sexuality and dealing with depression and parental pressure. It doesn't tell you about the speeches I've given at vigils for dead teens. It doesn't tell you about the friendships I've made through queer orgs. It doesn't tell you that I got a BC in that class because I only took it to fulfill a requirement and neither the professor nor the TA inspired in me much interest to actually go above and beyond the bare minimum of work.

It doesn't tell you about the eight jobs I've had during college, or the marches up State Street, or day after day spent protesting at the capitol, or having a breakdown at my first LGBT leadership institute, or helping to plan MBLGTACC 2010 and what a fuckup that turned out to be, or realizing I was bisexual only three weeks into my freshmen year, or having a 6am epiphany that I didn't want to be a theatre major.

Most of the major memories I have from college exist outside of the realm of academia, and many that are academic are negative - like the time a classmate leading a discussion in a women's health class brought in information about intimate partner violence in same-sex relationships from THE FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL and I was the only one who challenged it - not even my queer woman TA spoke up!

So, I guess, in conclusion, since I feel like I have to write a conclusion even though I'm so bad at it - hey, college, maybe that's something useful and academic you could've taught me: how to write a fucking conclusion! - In Conclusion:

This is beyond just senioritis. This is mental and physical exhaustion. This is affirmation of my decision to take a year off.
sbp - photostrip


There is a SNOW DAY tomorrow, and THUS I list here the things I would like to and/or should do tomorrow:

1. Sleep in
2. Make Shoebox Project icons
3. Clean kitchen
4. Read more of Stone Butch Blues
5. Do Thursday's Internet class readings
6. Watch Inglorious Basterds
7. Start app for passport

OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE A CREDIT CARD NOW! Fuck, am I grown-up now or something? It's so weird that I own this thing....

Anyway, back to the list:

8. E-mail back my sisters
9. Start work on Queer Bodies paper
10. Make more Klaine graphics

Honestly, I imagine only completing about four of these.

OK, off to bed. Ciao, ragazzi!

Peace and love,

P.S. In regards to the snowpocalypse - it's, like, legit crazy weather out there. We are officially in a blizzard, and all - yes, ALL - of the roads in my county (Dane County, WI) have been declared impassable.
titus and mark

holy crap

I came to the revelation in class the other day that I have been on LiveJournal for seven years.



Much love and thanks to Brittany (uwhockey32) for introducing me to this.

Here's to the friends I've made online - the varying obsessions - the old drama - the LOST - the fanfic - the gifs -

and to the next seven years. <3
misc - microphone

I want people to know that there is nothing more badass than being who you are. -Darren Criss

So Facebook has this new thing on the profile where you can put "People who inspire you." Inspre me to what? To sing? To laugh? To work harder at something? To not do bad things? That's so vague, Facebook. Inspire me how?

Should I fill that space in with all of the many actors, singers, and writers who make me laugh, cry, sing, dance, and think? Or the few who inspire me to actually create something of my own - a story or icons or some other graphic or a playlist?

What about those people who piss me off or upset me in some way and thus inspire me to do something against them? That list would be easier to make, actually.

I've never really had a hero or an idol. There's never really been someone out there that I've thought, "I want to be just like them." Certainly people are awesome - I mean, Rachel Maddow is awesome, but I wouldn't really say she inspires me - but I look at someone and say, "Oh, I love his determination," or "Oh, she was pretty badass that one time" or "I love how they ____," but rarely is there someone who just all-around is fucking amazing, and I want to emulate them.

So I tried making a list for Facebook. The only person at this point in my life who I think I can really, truly call a hero of mine is Ida B. Wells, who is like the HBIC of the 19th century. But it felt wrong to list her alongside Chris Colfer and Stephen Colbert. It was making them look more important or her less important.

OK, so here - let me try to make a list -

Ida B. Wells, for researching lynchings in the South, for writing about things no one would dare say aloud, for buying a gun so if white supremacists came after her she could take out at least one of them with her, for standing up to white suffragettes & calling them out on their racism, to being generally HBIC

Harvey Milk, for standing up for queers all over the country, for being a great person and politician

Chris Colfer, for being a beautiful person inside and out, for staying real, for being so fucking talented, for helping millions of kids feel better about themselves, for being an It Gets Better video come to life, for your fantastic version of "Rose's Turn"

Neil Gaiman, for writing three of my favorite books (Coraline, American Gods, and Good Omens, which he co-wrote with Terry Pratchett), for being hilarious and touching and creepy, for being a world-maker, for being someone whose words I can quote and reread and completely lose myself in

Robert Downey Jr, for proving that anyone can come back from their lowest point to be amazing

Sarah Rees Brennan, for proving that fanfic writers can also write fantastic, even award-winning, original fic, too, without losing touch with her online fanbase or forgetting her roots, for sticking up for women in literature, for being a straight woman who can write a great gay character - and just a great gay character, but a great character who just happens to be gay, rather than a gay character who happens to be great

Amanda Palmer, whose voice may not be the best but whose lyrics, energy, and authenticity are fabulous and thought-provoking

Dan Choi, who outed himself on live TV and became the face of the fight against DADT, who has been arrested and yelled at and demonized and still never gave up hope

...and I know there are more! Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Jonathan Larson, Darren Criss, Zona Gale, Alice Paul, Jon Stewart, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, J.K. Rowling - and this isn't even getting into the wonderful people who I actually know who inspire me and push me and support me and amaze me, or the anonymous people I encounter online who are funny, smart, scathing, talented, supportive...

Ok, enough. I've clearly put too much thought into this.

And to be honest? It'd be nice to find someone who I can definitely say inspires me, who can be my hero and idol, but I'd rather be the sort of person that will make someone, someday, say, "She inspires me."

Peace and love,

x-posted to Facebook (although that will be edited for language)
misc - microphone

Don't Stop Believin'

I was inspired by stuff that other Glee fans on Tumblr do a lot. Here is my

Top 10 Glee songs, according to my iTunes

#1 - 36 plays

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Other favorites of mine, which I downloaded later on and thus wouldn't be in the Top 10 most played, include "Rose's Turn," "Just the Way You Are," "Marry You," "River Deep, Mountain High," and a bunch from the Rocky Horror ep.

What are your favorites?